Nicole Galloway Would Be the first woman elected governor in Missouri

Help Me Help heR

Missouri Governor Mike Parson is a lot of things. Unfortunately, none of those things include competent. Or organized. Or moral. He’s definitely racist, and will never do anything to protect any of the working people in my city or my state. His tenure (one which only exists because his predecessor resigned amidst scandal) was already defined by a horrifying abortion ban, slashing healthcare to poor children, and destroying Missouri’s education funding. His coronavirus response has been a debacle of national significance. A recent example is that he diverted millions in Federal CARE funds to promote, wait for it, tourism.

I’m not merely pro-Galloway because I’m anti-Parson (although, cards on the table, I’d vote for desiccated fly larva over Mike Parson; the fly larva would probably do a far, far better job). I’m pro-Galloway because she’s already been Missouri’s State Auditor for a full term, so she already knows her way around the capital and the state’s notoriously conservative voters.

She’s already unmasked financial corruption in Missouri, helping to uncover over $350 million in “wasted or stolen taxpayer money.” Unlike her right-to-work champion opponent, she is decidedly pro-labor. She’s also got a plan to help Missouri recover from the shit show that is Parson’s coronavirus response.

Running a statewide campaign as a Democrat in a state as crimson red as MO is thankless. To say that she stepped up on behalf of all of us (not long after Parson signed his lethal abortion ban) is far from an overstatement. At first, I was happy to have someone credible and engaging running as governor. Now, I’m specifically happy that it’s her.

If you don’t live in Missouri, your heart is tender and you don’t need any more information about why Mike Parson is easily the least qualified person to get us through this crisis and undo the real financial harm he’s doing to our state right now as I type this, but you should probably at least glance at this. And this. And this. Oh, fuck, sorry, this, too.

If you DO live in Missouri and you’re looking for ways to help Galloway safely conduct a campaign that is mostly digital, then please help me help her campaign by buying up some of my awesome greeting cards.

Missouri has been living under the yolk of a cretinous and beyond-the-pale amoral Republican super majority since 2016. We have to stop it in its tracks while we have the chance.

Buy at least one of these sets of cards and 100% of the proceeds go directly to the Galloway Campaign. It’s that simple. My mother used to say that if you don’t do anything, nothing gets done. Let’s DO this.

the whole fucking set

The rage that inspired these cards is gluten free, vegan, free-range, and made in America. Buy the whole fucking set today.

Pick five

Missouri’s current governor is decidedly against forcing you to wear a mask. I’m decidedly against him getting another four years to destroy our state’s healthcare system. Click below to pick your own set of 5 cards. Do you.

Pick 10

What could say 2020 more than sending these out for the holidays? Create your own pack of 10 here.